this side

Thursday, July 17. 2008

I've never been on this side before.

I just got an e-mail from my mother. My cousin, Katie, has a rare (one in more-than-a-million rare) lung disease. She's been stuck in limbo, waiting for the one thing that has a shot at saving her life. Last night, a pair of lungs 'came available.'

I've never been on this side before.

I've been in the PICU, trying in vain to keep the soul of a teenager from slipping away, only to have to turn to her parents with useless words of comfort. I've held sobbing mothers as they agonize over the decision to give pieces of their child's bodies away to utter strangers. I've helped to get kids ready for transport to the operating room, given fathers a chance to say their last goodbyes as we push their flesh and blood away down the hall to be cut and sorted and distributed.

I've never been on this side before.

Reading those words, they have a pair of lungs for Katie, was an immediate rush. Joy like I've rarely known it. I dropped to my knees, praying that they would be compatible, that her body would withstand the operation, that her life would be spared. Hoping against hope that this is yet another miracle that's been granted in my life.

I've never been on this side before.

The only thing I know is the shock and anger and pain of losing someone dear to me. The strange, almost eerie realization that someone I love has become replacement parts for another. The coming to terms with the fact that someone else is seeing through eyes that used to shine at me from across a hayloft at my Grandpa's farm.

This will take some getting used to.

Posted by Ali Wilks at 08:20 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

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this is me

I'm Ali; twenty-five years old, New Jersey born and raised. I work as a pediatric nurse with Mercy Ships on board the world's largest non-governmental hospital ship, the M/V Africa Mercy. We've got six state of the art operating theaters, an intensive care and ward bed space for up to 78 patients. Following the example of Jesus, Mercy Ships seeks to bring hope and healing to the forgotten poor. Since 1978, Mercy Ships has performed more than 32,500 surgeries. We've removed cataracts, straightened club feet and reconstructed faces. I spend my days in a delightful whirl of crying babies, cast-footed kids, and even the occasional grownup. I've never been so happy. (If comments aren't working, you can contact me at alirae[at]quist[dot]ca.)