We are human and that is why we ask - Why? This situation is so sad. I am so sorry. I will continue to pray to our Lord asking that His will be done on to you all. Please hang in there. You have touched so many of us and I continue to thank you for that.
#1 Steph on 2010-04-13 14:06
Maybe it doesn't make you a good christian, but I think it makes you a good *person*.

As far I can tell, you have a hell of a lot more compassion for these kids than god does.
#2 Keely Chaisson on 2010-04-13 14:21
those are all hard questions, but they don't make you a bad Christian. They make you human. God will not be shaken by your questions. God is not shaken by the harshness that is life in this world. He is there, holding you and holding those families through this dark and painful time.
#3 tricia (Homepage) on 2010-04-13 14:40
You told me once to not be afraid to ask the hard questions because God is big enough to handle them.

Just wanted to remind you.
#4 charity on 2010-04-13 15:11
Your anger has no bearing on being a 'good' Christian. Asking 'why' doesn't make you a weak Christian. Your compassion for these children and your passion about your work (healing) is the very image of God in you. I couldn't begin to attempt an explanation on why a miracle one day and not the next other than we really don't know the ways or plans of God. But we DO KNOW He is holy and His love is unfailing. We can TRUST in His strength to enable you to walk through this time of frustration until you again rest in His arms with a peace that passes all understanding. Thank you for being real with your blog world. Your stories touch our hearts and cause us to pray for people that we wouldn't know about otherwise. Keep your eyes on Him, dear sister.
#5 deb on 2010-04-13 22:47
I think there are ways to ask "why" and to express our dissatisfaction with God's ways without losing our faith or being disrespectful to God. I have certainly had the feelings and questions you have had today. Life just plain hurts sometimes and does not make sense.

Psalm 13
How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him,"lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Praying for you and Maurius (and the other kiddos!)
#6 Lori Schneider (Homepage) on 2010-04-14 03:10
One of my favorite things about this big, huge, loving God of ours is that he's not afraid of our questions, he's not scared off by our anger, and most of all... even in those moments, those rage filled anger filled moments He is still God....

I have never been so angry with God as I was when I found out that my little sister had been sexually abused... I was so angry... she was so young, and so innocent, and all that was taken away... I was so angry, where was God when she needed a protector, where was God when she was scared and alone...

I still don't know the hows and whys and the answer to where God was in those moments, but I do know that I locked myself in a room and poured out all my rage and all my anger and all my frustration and doubt and fear to God, I laid it all out bare before Him.... and somehow at the end of it God was still there, when I finally laid down weeping and exhausted God was still there... my little sister is ten now and I'm 26, that was 5 years ago, and I think we're still learning how what happened will affect her... it has forever changed our family dynamic... and I pray as often as I remember that God would heal her, and protect her and keep her safe... Is everything okay? no, did we all learn some great heart warming lesson, no... but is God still God, and does he love me even when I'm angry, absolutely... and I think as much as we get angry to see little ones hurt and abused, I believe that God gets more angry about it than we do... but the reality is that we live in a sinful world, a world of pain, and heartache, and brokenness... God has provided us with a redeemer and a hope for a better future... and in the meantime... we just have to remember that we are sojourners in this broken place... and that God is not afraid of our questions or our anger...

I know that none of this probably helps you... but I really just wanted you to know that I too have been soooo angry at God, and I know that God is still there... even when life stinks... God is still there....
#7 elle (Homepage) on 2010-04-14 11:36
I really like what the last comment before mine said (elle)

I too have been really really angry at God. Not understanding how or why something is or is not happening or whatever.

It seems that sometimes we have to work it out with God. I dont mean that disrespectfully but, the fact that we dont know His plan and can't always see what is going to happen in the future, makes for situations that might make us angry.

I really like in the Bible, the story of Jacob ( I think it was Jacob anyway) where he 'wrestled with God'.

I dont have my Bible right here so I dont remember exactly how it all goes or even the context, but sometimes it brings to my mind a picture. A picture of a man wrestling it out and not giving up.

He probably didnt get the answer he was looking for but, he wasnt going to give up maybe until he found out something about God.

i have felt, at times, myself 'wrestling with God' about certain things! I knew I could not let go until he was going to show me something. I wasnt going to go away. And of course we know He never goes away.

getting angry is human. as long as we don't give up on God and we dont take our anger and let it fester and give it more validity than it needs.

Getting angry and 'working it out and wrestling with God' and not letting Him go until He shows us something..........

I dont know if that all makes sense. It is something that I have learned and am still learning. Sometimes it all makes no sense.

sometimes I am surprised at what God shows me.

Hang in there. we are praying for you and your little ones! :-) thanks for your honesty!
#8 jenn Grant (Homepage) on 2010-04-14 13:05
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