I think your heart will feel unfinished there no matter what. I don't think you would have found closure with your goodbyes, I think your heart would have hurt. Maybe this feeling of things being unfinished is preparing you for following where you are called next - I don't know - I just know that saying goodbye sometimes hurts more than the sick sleep that you've been experiencing. Maybe you can send stickers to that hospital that your babies have been transferred to. But in all honesty, Ali Rae, your children know that you love them. And your heart will forever be heavy with the loss of moving on, with, or without, formal goodbyes.
Take heart, my dear, your Maker will carry you through this. Your readers will storm Heaven with prayers for you - you who have stormed Heaven on behalf of so many others in prayer. It is your turn to sit back, be healed, and let Him lift you up and carry you forward.
Maybe it will help to say this little Irish blessing to God and your friends in prayer. You never know, you may see them again. Was it a movie where I heard once, "Never say Goodbye?"
"May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand."
Ali, I'm sorry. That's hard. When I left the ship last year, I had the same sense regarding some of the patients and translators. There is one VVF patient in particular that I most definitely did get to say goodbye, but she went home leaking. I will likely never hear how she's doing in this life. Not a day goes by that my heart doesn't remember her. It hurts. I don't want that hurt to go away because it's just another reminder to continue praying. I still pray even without that hurt, but I'm glad for it, nonetheless. Maybe somehow our Father wants to leave that sense of unfinished business to continue spurring you both in your work and your prayers.
I hope you feel better soon. I'll pray for that and a smooth, restful sail. Blessings to you!