ali's american adventures

I highly recommend 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' by dr. Marc Weisbluth. It changed my life. Three kids in & I have some of the best sleepers around. It's not easy though. I find that for the first year getting a baby to sleep & stay asleep is a juggling act. I can't imagine dealing with sleep issues in such limited space!

#1 Carla on 2012-12-21 16:11

I've heard this name mentioned a lot in the reading I've been doing. Is he the guy that advocates a super-early bedtime? Because we tried that and it backfired BIG time, unfortunately. =( Those were some of our worst nights yet. "Juggling act," I think, is a really good way of describing all this!

#1.1 Ali C. on 2012-12-23 09:46

Hey Ali,
Hang in there! Those 45 minute intruders are brutal but they will pass.
Here is a link to a blog that I like. It has TONS of advice, especially in the sleep training department. It's all based on a book called Baby Wise.
I hope that it helps you!
It also has references to the book that Carla mentioned as well

http://www.babywisemom.com/
Praying for you!
Becky Hart

#2 Becky on 2012-12-21 16:21

I've spent a lot of time on that blog, but it seems like it all comes down to letting her cry it out, which I'm just not ready to do. Maybe I'm just shooting myself in the foot and prolonging our agony, but I just feel like she's too young for it quite yet. I've been working on getting her on a more consistent feeding schedule, but that's hard, too, since she's got some reflux issues and often ends up spitting up a ton of what she eats.

#2.1 Ali C. on 2012-12-23 09:43

Praying she gets sleeping figured out soon. And praying for you too. Having gone from no kids/not even pregnant to being a stay at home mom to a 9 mo. old, I know how difficult a change motherhood can be. Thanks for being so honest about it. I think all moms feel like they need a break sometimes. Make sure you get one now and then!

#3 Shana on 2012-12-21 19:32

Ali,
In reading this and your last post, it reminds me of my Max. He ended up having acid reflux, once we put him on medication for it for only a month or so he became the super sleeper he is today in his tween years. Best of luck!

#4 Korri Toll on 2012-12-21 21:44

I'm pretty sure that reflux is one of our issues, but there just isn't a good way to manage it on board here ... we don't have the medications. =(

#4.1 Ali C. (Homepage) on 2012-12-23 09:39

Hey Ali,
As you know, I'm not a mom....but I have played mommy to 9 newborns. I have learned a couple tricks along the way that don't require crying. Of course they haven't worked for all of my little ones, but maybe they'll work for your little sweetheart.

1--don't feed/nurse her to sleep. If she gets used to that, she will need it in order to go to sleep--which is NOT what you want.

2--put her to bed at the FIRST sign of tiredness, instead of waiting until she's beside herself with exhaustion.

3--Try soothing her with the bink and patting/jiggling (without picking her up) at at 45 minute mark. I dont know what it is about the 45 minute mark, but babies always wake up. I found that if I could sooth the babies through that without feeding them for a few times, they stop waking up at that particular "scheduled" wake-up time.

4--refer to #3 for nightime wakings, too

5--I'm sure I'll think of more in the next few days, and I'll try to email them to you.

I feel your pain, my friend. I have only done it for 3 months at a time--I can't imagine the seemingly endlessness of what's in front of you!

Oh, and unless if you're doing active "training" (like listed above), don't look at the clock. It's better for your mental health if you don't know exactly how little sleep you have gotten....

Bless you!

#5 Sophie (Homepage) on 2012-12-24 07:26

Your comment makes it seem like you're hiding in the corner of our cabin watching me ... because those are all the techniques I've been using. =( We separate feeding from sleep by at least 10 minutes (usually more), and always put her down drowsy or awake. We never pick her up at the 45 minute mark (learned that the hard way; it just got her all riled up and the screaming would go on for hours), and I watch her like a hawk for sleep cues. In fact, most of the time I don't even wait for them and I put her down when she's at a time I know she'll be getting sleepy soon (around 1.5-1.75 hours these days).

And yet, it persists. I think she's waking at that 45 because she's transitioning sleep cycles, but she's lost her soother and can't put it back in herself. So we're kind of stuck on that one unless we either break her of the soother (which I'm not keen to do) or wait until she's old enough. It's been almost a month, and she still wakes up, so I think we're kind of stuck with it for a while.

As for night wakings, I always try to get her back to sleep without feeding her, but the maximum amount of extra sleep that buys me is a whopping half hour, which just isn't worth it. Spending 20 minutes to get her back to sleep only to have her wake up half an hour later when I've barely fallen back to sleep myself is just silly when I know she's probably legitimately hungry.

So. Yeah. Seriously - anything else you can think of I'm more than happy to try! How long do you usually have your littles? As long as 4 or 5 months? (I can't remember.) Have you ever gotten into this rotten sleep pattern and actually gotten back out ever?!

#5.1 Ali C. (Homepage) on 2012-12-24 11:08

Hey Ali,
I can't say I've got any good advice for you - just trying to muddle through with a three-month-old myself. Perhaps what I do is all wrong, but it works for us... for nighttime... I try to feed her when she is just stirring, before she wakes completely - I can sleep feed her in 10 minutes and have her out cold again for 3-4 hours, which is so much better than dealing with her waking completely - it means though, that she sleeps about 12 hours at night (usually with 2 nighttime feedings), but then barely naps during the day - 2 to 3 30 minute naps, occasionally she gets an hour... but not often - but she's a happy baby, and I figure if she and I are sleeping well at night, all is well in the world.
Anyway - hang in there, these rough days will not last forever - and believe it or not, someday, you'll be wishing you could have them back.

Blessings, and Merry Christmas!

#6 Merrylee on 2012-12-24 22:32